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Being beautiful is too much damn pressure!!

Jamecia Smith

Is it me, or is being beautiful a full time job? (side-eye)

Don't get me wrong, I have always been beautiful as is. As is, meaning no make up, no brow wax, no relaxer.

As is= As I am naturally. 

But with that said, we all know that I look much much better without my unibrow. Yes, I naturally have a light unibrow lol. 

With me feeling these conflicting ways I thought I should share a resent pressure of mine and how I worked through it.....

So I got this new man right, and we've been dating for a couple of months now. With being around him all the time, I feel pressured to be beautiful and sexy all the time. I want to look my best for him. Not that he's asking me to do this but I WANT TO.

(No seriously he's not, he told me "just take your wig off" on Saturday, when my head was itching LMAO. So I did just that. I took it off and walked around in my braid down. He thinks I'm stunning regardless.)

So with this being the way I feel, I figure, why not?! Shit you can do it. What's wrong with being beautiful, cute and sexy all the time? Plus, we were under Quarantine for months without being able to get out and have services done. So why not appreciate this time?!

So I've been keeping up. Getting my nails and toes done exactly every 2 weeks, getting my brows waxed more regularly, getting my bikini wax every 4 weeks, keeping my hair done, shaving my legs every 2 days, wearing lingerie and cute outfits more regularly vs. leggings and t-shirts and the list goes on. 

When I tell you that I am TIRED, that's exactly what I mean... Every time I turn around I have an appointment for something. With everything else that I have going on, I'm tired of trying to be cute. And I really don't have time for it. (side-eye)

Right now as I type this, I need my nails done, need to shave my legs, need a brow and bikini wax, plus I'm tired of wearing my wig.

Don't get me wrong, I'm going to do it all, I like having an upkeep,

BUT ONLY THE MINIMUM.

I can't keep being so anal about it. it's ok if I miss a week or wear my 3 day old wash a go.

It's exhausting being beautiful and sexy ALL the time.

I QUIT!!!

Going back to the regular......

Now, I'm sitting here thinking.... With him telling me to just take my wig off, it gave me the "ok" to let go a little bit. Which is funny because I haven't told him that I was making myself feel this way. Again, this is a expectation that I set for myself. But, with those simple words, he let me know that he does not care as much as I do.

If you asked me, I would tell you that I wasn't doing it for him and that I was doing it for myself. But, then that wouldn't make much sense now would it? LMAO Funny how the brain works huh?!

I wrote this blog to say:

It's important for men to let the women around them know, that they like them just the way they are. Because although us as women, like to act as if the opinions of men have no impact on the way we present ourselves, IT DOES. It is also ok to spruce yourself up to look good for your significant other. But don't get carried away and set crazy expectations for yourself. BALANCE IS KEY :) 

Question


Have you ever found yourself feeling this way? Please share below.

Thanks for reading, Jamecia 


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8 comments

  • I agree with this 100% the up keep can defly become exhausting and overwhelming. It’s nice to have that reassurance from your significant that even on your off days you’re still loved the same .

    TAy

  • I’m so glad I read this, I started to feel uncomfortable around my man he would make lil comments about my hair and nails..etc . Give me some slack dude, shit is exhausting. I work full-time and part-time and when I get dressed up I get dressed up okkk lol but I should be able to be comfortable in my home and not feel out of place. Long story short I got rid of his ass. I wasn’t appreciate enough and was under valued.
    P.S your man got a brother lol!

    tasia

  • Yas girl yaaasss! I remember first meeting my significant other (I was going to take professional pics that day so I had it all together) lol. After we started dating, I wouldn’t dare go on a date with him without my hair being done (no lol). If I wasn’t “put together” I wasn’t going! Now I was 21 back then so I didn’t have as much “up keep” as I do now, but brows and hair was mandatory. Things moved kinda quick and we moved in together within 6 months. At that point I told myself “it’s time to let my hair down”. He’s going to have to see me at my worst, he to deserve me at my best. It made him no never mind! He told me he thought I was still beautiful in my natural state. He always reassured me how he looked at me and felt about me. 13 years later, he’s seen it all and loves me more and more each day! Thanks for the good read.

    Brittany

  • Great job on the blog, and way to be transparent. You’re helping us ladies out for sure. Now on another note…
    Girl! I’m trying to tell you. I have just now started on this journey of being more “high maintenance” is what I call it. It makes you feel so good to look nice put on something cute, or sexy, but yes after a while it is a lot! So I pick and choose what it is I want to be super particular about, and if I don’t want to be dolled up on a particular day, I won’t. It’s called SELF care. Do whatever makes you feel good.

    WAlidah

  • This was well worded and definitely needed to be said! I just sad this to myself about my eyelashes and told myself I’m giving myself a break. I have asked my fiancé multiple times (do i look different without my eyelashes) and later that day he texted me to tell me how perfect i am! Love this!

    CM


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